Somebody Shoot me Now!!!

If this is how my life is going to be for the rest of my life. I would rather be dead! No seriously, I would rather be dead!!! Days of, cleaning shit off the floor, endless cleaning, endless cooking, endless screaming! I am so sick of it, I feel like my life is passing me by. My days just melt into each other, how did I get here? Oh yes, my birth control failed me and now I am a reluctant mother! I hate it!!!! I want to scream every waking hour! I want to jump off a bridge and totally forget about this nightmare of a life! I want so many things but, one of the things I don't want is to be a mother anymore. I want to run away and never come back, I know what people are going to say though, they are going to say that I put myself in this situation so I should deal with it. Well, I never wanted kids, and I should have stayed a virgin for the rest of my life. Because now, I wish I had never been born! Now, I wish that I had never ever met his stupid stupid stupid father! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!!!!! I want him out of my life for good! He just does not understand how hard it is, he thinks that women are just designed to live this hell. Anyway, that is my rant over for the day!

I feel sick and fed up every day

Every dsy its getting worse. I have aged about ten years in two years. Having a baby was the worst decision I have ever mae in my life. Rght now I should be lying on a beach somewhere not cleaning shit off the floor. All my son does is cry and moan. He lives a good life  and all he does is scream. I am praying for october to come when he goes to school. The dsy could not come quick enough. I am opening an office for my business and I really can't wait to bet stuck into work and start making the kind of moey I was making before. I am not cut out tosit at home playing house. I hate it with every bone in my body. Like seriusly whoever lied and said motherhood was flowers and rainbows. Its a nightmare from morning until night.   I know some people will say that I don't deserve a child but quite frankly I don't care. I never really wanted a baby I was on birth control  which obviously failed me. Motherhood for me is like sticking pins in my eyes. I fel bad for him that he is going to be an only child but I simply cannot have anymore children.

I know I am not alone in this because I have seen hundreds of blogs about this topic. Anyway I am done  venting for today. Bye.