Some days you wake up and it's okay

Some days you wake up and it is okay, you know you don't feel so exhausted and you feel like things are going to be okay. Then the tantrums start the house turns into a pig sty and you feel  like running away and never looking back. Sometimes i daydream about my life before i was a mum. i think how would it have been if i did not have a child. i used to be happy, i  used to wake up feeling like the world was at my feet. now i wake up feeling like i want to jump out of  a window. i feel like someone threw me in jail and threw away the key. its a nightmare. i need to work and do something besides this. motherhood can kill, the stress of it can kill a person.

my sons father just lives his own life and all the responsibility of looking after my son falls on me.i may as well be a single mother.this is totally and uttterly ridiculous and unfair. My son is starting pre school this month which is great becausei can go in to the office. i run my own business but i work from home which is impossible pretty much to do because i never get a moment to myself.

i am praying every day for God to make this better.however, it is only getting worse.

I feel sick and fed up every day

Every dsy its getting worse. I have aged about ten years in two years. Having a baby was the worst decision I have ever mae in my life. Rght now I should be lying on a beach somewhere not cleaning shit off the floor. All my son does is cry and moan. He lives a good life  and all he does is scream. I am praying for october to come when he goes to school. The dsy could not come quick enough. I am opening an office for my business and I really can't wait to bet stuck into work and start making the kind of moey I was making before. I am not cut out tosit at home playing house. I hate it with every bone in my body. Like seriusly whoever lied and said motherhood was flowers and rainbows. Its a nightmare from morning until night.   I know some people will say that I don't deserve a child but quite frankly I don't care. I never really wanted a baby I was on birth control  which obviously failed me. Motherhood for me is like sticking pins in my eyes. I fel bad for him that he is going to be an only child but I simply cannot have anymore children.

I know I am not alone in this because I have seen hundreds of blogs about this topic. Anyway I am done  venting for today. Bye.